Tribulations of being a Step Mother...

This was me and Little man last night... Our night only got worse after my last post. I swear to you, I could have killed me a kid last night (and a husband, too).

Hubby and I were talking about how all of Little man's jeans were missing and trying to just figure out where they could be {Baby momma's, the grandparents...}. One of us said something kind of irrelevant and.. I can't really remember how it even came up, but Little man looks at me and says "Sooo" all bratty like. It was everything I had not to jump out of my chair and pull a 'Homer' on him. Hubby to the Rescue! He sent him to his room. So the little shit goes to his room and pokes his head out of his door and stares at me. I told him I don't want to see his face and he needs to sit on his bed. A little bit later, I went and talked to him explaining that he cannot speak to me like that. I asked him if he would do that to Mommy or Daddy? He said no. So why would he do it to me? I'm just like them, except I'm meaner... (yes, I did say that). So not fucking 10 minuets pass and he's telling us how he's sooo hungry and needs cheese. It's 30 mins to his bedtime. The child had been eating all day long. There is no way he was hungry. So all I said was that he doesn't need cheese because he'll be going to bed soon. He balls his eyes out. Fucking WW3 all over a piece of goddamn cheese! So we FINALLY get it all cleared up and I decide I need to smudge of (burn sage to cleanse the energy the house and one's in it) the hell out of this house. AS I'm smudging, trying to make this house feel better, Hubby fucking pisses me off. He gives Little man candy! Not one, but TWO pieces! Do you know what that says to Little man? "You don't have to listen to Stepmommy". So I said something to Hubby about it and he gets annoyed with me about it. He fucks up, and I get treated bad because he fucked up... make since to you? Me neither...

This shit seems to be getting harder and harder. This insta-mommy shit. I feel like I'm busting ass to have a relationship with Little man and still have discipline in this house. He is not allowed to run a-muck here. And if I say no, I mean no. It doesn't mean ask Daddy and he'll step on my toes and say yes anyways, though that's how it feels at times. Between the in-laws, baby momma, and lack of constant discipline, this child is my worst nightmare at times.

We were all watching a movie on Saturday night. The only time Little man wanted anything to do with Hubby is when I would snuggle up to him. He'd jump in between us with his wet, sloppy lips and snotty nose to kiss us, which seems sweet, but the second I'd move away a little bit, Little man would go away. I'd go back to snuggling with my husband and here comes child to ruin the moment!!! I've read that this is normal, but it doesn't change the fact that it pisses me off. And I can't say anything about it... It just makes me look like a monster.

I knew coming into this marriage that it would be hard, but I didn't realize how hard it'd be. The best I can do is just keep on keeping on and keep on trying to get Hubby on my side. In the meantime, you, my dear blogger friends, have to hear me bitch... Sorry.

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