Debbie Downer needs a pep upper.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

~Charles Dickens

I never really understood this, until now. My life is a big ole "best of times, worst of times" situation. Take now, I'm newly married to the love of my life, young, healthy, living in my first apartment {the most beautiful apartment ever!}. Yet, I am a stepmother (or is is stepmonster?), have baby momma drama, still not working (again), broke as hell, and I feel like I'm spinning out of control. This is the balancing act of Libra, I suppose...

I recently erased someone out of my life. Blocked them, deleted them, wanted nothing to do with them. Lately, however, I'm hearing that she is sinking and feel the need to rekindle our relationship. My tombstone is going to read "Here lies Melissa. She burned many bridges" Maybe, board by board, I can rebuild a bridge. I feel like I need to. For her and for me. If anything, I need to know what went wrong. I have another dear friend who is shutting me out lately. I have e mailed and called to no avail. I want to just know if I did anything wrong. I'm one of those girls who needs to know what I did, otherwise I obsess.

All of this goes through my head daily. I think, wonder, obsess, trip, and blame myself for things. I need a job, so I have something else to focus my energy on, and so I'm not alone all day, thinking stupid shit. Not to mention, the money would be nice, too. =)

In the meantime, I need to clean this house!! And continue my workouts. I haven't lost but 2 pounds. I'm busting ass and still have a gut. I want instant results, damnit!

Enough bitching, sorry...

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Each day either walk one mile or exercise for twenty minutes: Working out is a good way to rid your life of stress or the blues.

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