Quater-Life Crisis

I had an epiphany last night.

I'm 25 years old and nowhere near where I want to be in life. I don't look the way I want to look, I don't dress the way I want to dress, not doing what I thought I'd be doing by now and it all hit me at once. Who I am on the inside doesn't match who I am on the outside. I need to fix this.{I fell off the smoking bandwagon last night and had a real cigarette, just one. I'm indulging in my e cig now..}

 I'm in a bubble, it needs to be popped.

I need to get back into crafting, give myself a goal of sorts. When I was making all my X-Mas gifts, I was so happy. I felt like I was worth something.  I had a purpose. I need to feel that I have a purpose. 

I rented What the Bleep Do We Know? and am going to watch it today. I think some inspiration will be good for me. Something for me to hold on to. Or point me in some sort of direction spiritually. 

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Another thing... Little Man was really mean to me all night last night. I had dinner ready when they got home, had the table set, all of it. I felt very wifey and motherly. I even made something I knew he'd like. So at dinner, he looked at me and said "Do you know how much I love you?" {This is his little thing, he'll say that and give you a big squeezy hug, so I was interested in what he was going to do} I asked him how much? He put his hand like 6 inches off the table and said "This much!" I asked him if that was a lot, his response...  "No! hahahaha" How mean is that?! It really upset me. Hubby got after him and told him he needs to be nice to me. It was little cuts like that all night. He challenged me all night. He's four years old. Four! I am bigger, meaner, and older. Challenge me, small fry... I will win. Haha.

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On a happier note: I'm going to my Momma's tonight and watching the American Idol auditions. That's the only part I watch, I love seeing people make an ass of themselves... =)

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I want to thank everyone for your sweet comments on my past few posts, I know I've been a bit of a Debbie Downer. I'm hoping I'll snap out of it soon. Until then, seriously, thank you so much for the support. It's what I need. ♥

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Write poems-even if you can't find perfect rhymes. 

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