I'm a little irritated with little man still. He lied again last night. He is grasping the concept now... He called one of his toys a bitch. LOL! It was funny, but he can't use those words at four. My language is bad, I'm sure that is where he is getting it. I got it from my Daddy. Haha! Still. Don't use those words, he knows better, and DO NOT lie to me! I am just not fucking having it! So I took his prized tee vee show away for the rest of the weekend. It sucks, this insta-mommy shit. I feel like I have to be a little harsher than others for 2 reasons. #1~ nobody else holds him responsible #2~ if he knows he can push me around, he will. It's human nature. I am a little woman, and I know he is going to be a lot bigger than me when he grows up and by God, he will listen to me and respect me. And fear me... LOL!! I'm trying to chill. Let it go. Blah blah blah... I just wish he and I were like 2 peas in a pod always. Not oil and water. We have great days, and if not great days, great moments. I do love this kid. I wouldn't be who I am today if not for him... I just wish we could live in happiness always. THAT is a fairy tale! At least I'm not like the wicked step mother in Cinderella! His mother could be the reason I'm annoyed, too. She feeds on pissing us off. It makes me think violently. I am a "All you need is love" "Make love, not war!" kinda girl. So when I feel that way, it effects me really bad. I don't like feeling like I could hurt someone. It's not my style. I'm working on it. Everyday is a new day and it is one step at a time. I have my wonderful husband, with him, I know I can get through this.

Still haven't heard from the coffee lady. I'm going to stop in on Monday, or maybe send her an e mail. I REALLY want this job! Bad! We need the money! And it is 5 minuets away from my house driving. My wonderful friend is giving me a bike! So on nice days I can hippy it out and ride my bike to work! Save on gas and help me to lose some weight!! Holla!! I need this. I do.

I also need to get off my lazy ass and start working out again. We have an a.m./p.m. yoga DVD that is good to get back into doing it. I will start that come the beginning of the week. And incorporate some light yoga booty ballet in (don't judge! That shit works and is FUN!) Eventually I will quit my horrid smoking habit (again) and try to train myself to enjoy jogging. I borrowed a treadmill from my mother in law. I loathe running! My face turns purple and I can't breathe. Haha! Such a wuss! But I need to do it. I need to get into shape so I love myself that much more!