This all happened before I could get a cup of coffee...
{We keep our toothpicks on the microwave in a Jack Daniels glass.}
Hubby was getting a plate down to make "bear toast" {toast, jelly, and honey} for Little man and somehow knocked the glass of toothpicks off the microwave. All I heard was a glass breaking and what I thought was glass, but was toothpicks go everywhere. I walk around the corner to make sure Hubby is okay... He just kept saying "My toe, my toe!" I thought the base of the glass hit him. I looked further and saw that there was blood all over his foot! His second toe had a massive gash. I tried to get him to put his flip flop on so he didn't step on broken glass, but he just kinda hobbled over to the dining room chair. I put a cold compress on it and was trying to stay calm and soothing for him. All of a sudden, his eyes start fucking rolling in his head and he makes this sound! He sounded like a dying bull or something {Little man said he sounded like a monster} and he's out. He's falling out of the chair and like convulsing. All I can think at one point, is if he falls out of that chair, how in the hell am I going to hold him up?! He is literally twice my size! So I scream at Little man and tell him to get the phone and bring it to me. He is a deer in headlights... frozen. I think I followed it with something like "GET THE FUCKING PHONE!!!!!!" {I feel so bad for cursing at my 4 year old stepchild!} I am panicking! I called my Momma twice with no answer. Before I called 911, I slapped Hubby's face {like I've seen in the movies} and held his face and told him he has to get with it. He comes to enough to give me his dad's cell phone number. Apparently, Hubby has a weak stomach. His dad has a really soothing voice and helped me to calm down enough. I doctored Hubby up, apologized to Little man for scaring him, and promptly smoked a cigarette and got me some coffee....
I have never seen anyone pass out! And I had no idea Hubby had a weak tummy! This is a man who can watch the most fucked up horror flick made and not flinch, but when it's him, he can't handle it. I, thank God, think the color of blood is really pretty, so I just tried to focus on that. {Don't think I'm some crazy blood lust freak or something...}
What a way to start the day...
*
Rent in-line skates for the weekend.
*
4 comments:
Oh no! Sounds like a nightmarish morning! I hope the day got better once it was cleaned up and you had your cup of coffee!!!
I am a drama queen when it comes to my own blood (or, heck, PULSE) so I totally know how your husband must feel ... and to make matters worse, I convulse, rather than simply faint, which makes people thing there is more to my little wipe outs then there are.
Therefore, I hope you both don't mind if I had a little giggle at this post ... a much needed giggle at that.
thanks! And I hope he has recovered more-or-less completely. And you too.
I'm glad this made you giggle, Karen. =)
We're laughing about it now... but twas quite tragic at first. LOL!
Yikes. I suppose after that it can only get better, right?
Post a Comment