"Just get a glass of wine and it'll all be better"

Sweet Jesus! I haven't blogged in so long! My life has been upside down... seriously. We have 6 days until the "Big Day"!! I still have soo much to do! My daddy, brother and his girl are coming in tomorrow! I am FREAKING out about it, too! My dad is super allergic to cats and we have 2, on top of random Chanel visits... dude! So we got our carpets cleaned for free due to renewing our lease and they used this enzyme thing on it to kill all the dander and what not. I am just really worried it's not enough. I feel a little too frazzled with it all. I freak and obsess about things hard core and this is HHUUUGEE to me!! My extended family is going to see my house!! I have never had a house for them to see! So I really am tripping. NOT TO MENTION I'm getting married! My parents went through the worst divorce and it really fucked me up. I was very anti-marriage for as long as I have known me; that is until Hubby. And I have never really finished anything before. I fucked massage school up, had to move back in with Momma, don't do well with jobs... so this shit is scary to me. I do know I want to be with him forever and I know that is just negativity trying to screw with me, but it's been keeping me up at night. I talked to him about it last night and he has been so supportive with all of this. He has known this about me since we started talking about marriage. I'll just be so happy when it is all here, and over. I want to enjoy every moment of it. I know it is going to go so fast! All of this planning for one day. Our vows amaze me! Michelle is our officiant, she got officiated for us. The vows she sent us are almost perfect! She gave me an A, B, or C and we picked and choose which ones we wanted. Fantastic. That is what I need. Grandma is paying for the catering. His cousin is doing the photography... Thank God for everyone who has stepped up to the plate. Not to mention Karie!! Without that girl, I'd be huddled in a corner, naked and rocking back and forth making no sense. LOL! Dramatic, yes, but true!! The people who haven't stepped up... I'm amazed by them. It is infuriating! Whatever. Their loss. That is the only way I can look at it at this point. I am getting what I want, my husband. Fuck them. Baby momma is trying to cause drama with it all. IMMAGINE THAT!!! We had to drive way out to her house to get lil man and she was trying to be all "friendsies" with me... Ummm. No. She better leave us the hell alone come our wedding. Including the day before. Do not call to check on him.. he is fine. His daddy is an amazing father and will take wonderful care of him. Period. She gets under my skin like no one else I've ever come in contact with. I try not to freak out, but it's like a force bigger than me. And on top of it all, I have a lot of respect for little man, so I won't talk shit in front of him. Never will. (I've been told many many many times... never say never...) I don't know... I'm really interested to see how she'll be when we're married. He is going to look so sexy with a ring on that finger. I fantasize about it. {As I type this, I am listening to our wedding play list to try to desensitize myself and I can't help falling in love with you by Elvis is on... Tear!} This shit is real. I am going to be a wife. I never thought that would happen... Wow.